


Why...?

by Sinsanity



Category: Sanders Sides, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:52:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinsanity/pseuds/Sinsanity
Summary: My whole life has been based on the question, "Why?"And for most of my life, my only answer was, "i don't know."But now....





	Why...?

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)  
> I think that's all, but if there are more, please tell me in the comments so I can tag them!  
> Enjoy!

Why?

This is the question that dictates my entire life. The sole reason for me being alive right now.

Everyone always asked me why.

Not once did I know how to answer their questions. I don’t think they knew that I asked myself the same questions every day.

‘Why do you always frown?’

‘Why are you so pessimistic?’

‘Why do you continue to act this way?’

And every day I am met with the same answer.

‘I don’t know.’

Then one day I met _them_.

At first there was nothing of importance. There was no reason that they should stick out. Just like everyone else, they asked me, “Why?”.

But then, the strangest thing happened. They saw me a few days later, smile and again asked me, “Why?”.

I was at a loss as to what I should do or say. So, I ran.

A couple weeks had passed before I saw them again. One of them came up to me. He wore a tie and glasses.

He reached out and laid a hand on my shoulder, and he smiled at me. “Why do you hurt yourself like this?”

Then he turned and walked away.

That was the day it all began. The day that I finally realized I never received an answer to my existence. All the strings attached to me were frayed and drifting without an end. All the Why’s were there but they were never answered.

I was incomplete.

It was a month and a half later when I stumbled across the anomalies in my life again. This time it was the one wearing something akin to a prince.

 He smiled at me with sympathetic eyes and placed a hand on my cheek before kissing my forehead.

“Why do you always run away from your feelings?”

Then with one last smiled he turned and walked away.

I stood frozen for what felt like hours.

Why?

Why me?

Why now?

Why them?

W H Y ?

It was nearly 5 months later when I next saw them.

The one in a blue polo and glasses walked up to me with a kind smile.

He stopped in front of me for a few moments before launching forward and hugging me.

His words were soft and muffled by my chest, but they rang through my entire being.

“Why do you hide who you truly are?”

And then I broke.

My knees buckled underneath me as my body fell to the ground, only being stopped and gently set down due to the man holding me.

I sobbed as all my emotions rushed forward. Everything was coming to light all at once. All the emotions and secrets I had pushed to the back of my mind were showing up again.

All because of the question, why?

I felt three pairs of arms encircled me as I sobbed.

And I realized at that moment. I knew the answer to every question I have been asked. All the ones they asked me, the ones I asked myself. Every question had the same answer.

“Because I’m afraid of myself.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this one was a bit difficult to write for a couple of reasons.  
> Despite it not being that long, I had to really put some thought into Virgil's character and with how I wanted to approach the topic at hand which is being dissociative with your own identity.  
> Now I know there are gonna be people that say this is not what DID is, but DID is not always something really noticeable. Sometimes, like in this stories case, it is used as an involuntary defense mechanism. I represented Virgil as a character that dissociated with his feelings to protect himself internally.  
> The other reason this was hard to write is because, this is a personal topic to me. I don't want to get into it because this story isn't about me, it's about a character.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! hopefully I didn't upset anyone too much. Kudos and Comments are appreciated.  
> Bye!


End file.
